Dublin Counsellor Blog
Eating Disorders Counselling Dublin
Eating disorders counselling Dublin: What are eating disorders about? In a word, control. As a species, the thing we hate most is being told what to do. That NEVER changes. Most movies are about freedom fighters shaking off a controlling oppressor for a reason.
Children and young people have the least amount of control.
Boundaries
So really, it’s how parents manage boundaries and discipline with their growing children. Boundaries are containing for a child but, crucially, allow space for their independent selves to emerge. They then find their OWN internally-developed motivation and this is what drives THEIR lives forward in a healthy way.
When parents don’t understand boundaries, through their own anxiety, they use control. Sometimes, parents bring their children for therapy saying ‘how can I make her…’, or ‘I can’t get him to…’, as if it’s the child’s fault.
Food Battle
The parents mean well as, from their more mature standpoint, they can see the pitfalls in younger people’s thinking. But, if pushed too far, it crushes the child’s spirit. This brings rebellion and resistance from the child, a fight for control. This battle can be fought out through food. Here is where they can take back control.
But, like all wars, there is no winner and it’s an endless destructive cycle. As Ghandi said: ‘an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind’.
The Real Damage
It is actually the implicit messages of control that really do the damage. If a parent is controlling, they are telling the child ‘I don’t trust you’ and ‘you are wrong’, The children internalise this voice and he/she is filled with self-doubt and a lack of confidence which is wildly damaging.
In therapy, the only real purging they have to do is to vomit out control as the central issue of their lives and be allowed to grow into who they really are.
I am an approved psychotherapist with the eating disorders association, bodywhys, for eating disorders counselling Dublin.
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