Dublin Counsellor Blog
Anger Management Counselling Dublin
Anger management counselling Dublin: Anger is really sadness that we cannot or will not acknowledge. Anger always dissolves into sadness or grief.
For people, men in particular, it is easier to be angry as it is seen as a strong emotion and we can get stuck there. But the only way out of it is through the sadness that has to be acknowledged, the sadness of whatever we never got, be it from a parent or a partner. But it’s harder to take that exit as sadness is a more vulnerable state. Therefore, anger is form of defence against the vulnerability of sadness.
In anger management counselling, we have to work through the anger until the person is ready to acknowledge their grief, their only exit from where they are stuck. This may take six sessions or six years depending on how stuck they are.
So how does a person come to be stuck in anger? The healthy form of anger is assertiveness. But when this assertiveness is squashed as a child, it turns into the destructive form of assertiveness, or anger. Healthy anger is ‘no, thanks’, unhealthy anger is ‘f*** you’.
This anger becomes internalised and is primarily directed at self. We rage at our self. As we are social creatures, we treat others the way we treat ourselves so we rage at them too. We destroy our relationship with our self and with others.
In anger management counselling, we look to rebuild our relationship with our self and, from there, we repair and build relationships with others. It can only be done in that order. Sometimes, people want a good relationship with others without looking at themselves and this never works.
For a wider description of how counselling works, and to see my own availability for counselling, check out https://thomaslarkin.ie/psychotherapy-counselling-dublin/